ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
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