y did u give ur computer a hand job?
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
