I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
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I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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