just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
this is an emotional support booty call
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
