is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Randomize
