Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
jump out the window naked night went bad
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
