i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
