I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
