I think i sorta joined a cult last night
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
