no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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