doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
