If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
