Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Dick very happy bro
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Randomize
