just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
