we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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