I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
tell me about the eggs
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