i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
