giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
is it fun? or sober?
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
