it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
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