Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Randomize
