I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Randomize
