I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
