so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
