Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
