now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
