I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
