Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
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