I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
