I think my vagina is haunted
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Randomize
