Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
