You're completely useless in the revolution.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
