coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
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