its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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