Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize