I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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