you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.