real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
10+ Incredible Tumblr Stories That Will Leave You Shook
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn