Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you