i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.