Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize