I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
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