she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
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I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
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Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Enjoy the penises
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
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