is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
is that a dick in a sweater?
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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