There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
