just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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