i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
A+ Viking dick
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Randomize
