I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
