I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
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