It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Randomize
