i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
