so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
