god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize