you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Holy sore nipples Batman
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Randomize
