He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
