so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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