Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Randomize
