i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I have feelings that need drinking.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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