the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Randomize
