So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
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