I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
