i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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