his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize