I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
The beer is more important than you right now.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
