Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
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