Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Every concussion has its silver lining
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
