This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize