did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Randomize
